When we hide ourselves from ourselves
Authenticity is quite the buzz right now. I firmly believe this has everything with the lack of it we feel in adjusting to the new way of connection technology has brought to us over the last 15 years.
Social media asks us to compartmentalize and create avatars, another form of ego or personality. These are the masks we’ll allow people to see.
But just like in life, the million dollar question is this…
What would it feel like to let go of all of the masks?
What would it be like to approach the keyboard or the camera, as we are?
With no masks…
Only our true authentic selves?
This last year I’ve found myself asking, “What does it really mean to live authentically?”
Especially as content creators, we tend to first look at the authenticity of our story and our messaging.
I’m not talking about how we appear in the world but instead, how we show up to ourselves…when no one’s looking.
This is what real authenticity is about after all.
With all the hype around “authenticity” it’s easy to perceive it as a destination. However, the past year has shown me it’s just like the elusive quests for happiness and success.
It happens moment by moment and in the journey.
We’re always uncovering pieces of ourselves we’ve been hiding from ourselves. This is part of life’s journey. One of the biggest obstacles between us and our authentic selves is our human ability to resist this very fact.
In what ways do I continue to hide myself from myself?
If this question doesn’t make you shutter the first time you hear it you’re probably not digging deep enough in your life and it may be time to get real.
Here are 3 areas of awareness to explore when asking yourself how to connect further to authenticity and stop hiding your self from yourself:
The belief that you will not be loved for who you are. Not allowing others to see or know who we really are. Experiencing a lack of love connected to the past. This could be rejection from a parent or sibling. Rejection from peers or a romantic partner.
This is a false perception that we will not be loved for who we are. This comes from a lack of self-acceptance or acceptance of a situation. At the very worst, sometimes life is NOT fair. But there are lessons in it all and this is one of the best ways to let go of grief and lack. What are the lessons?
Do your relationships reflect your core values? The tribe we surround ourselves with has everything to do with our overall well-being and quality of life. If you’re not feeling like you’re able to be yourself, check your relationships.
We all have relationships with others who have like values and some, where we do not share like values.
The closest relationships in our lives, our circle of influence, our tribe…
We must pave this area of our lives with people who share similar core values to our own.
We must examine the relationships in our lives where we do not share values. It’s in these relationships we have two choices.
We can separate ourselves from these relationships. We can also challenge ourselves to get curious about these connections. We can challenge ourselves to stand up and out in the moments disagreement arises out of these connections. We can use these relationships to stand firm in the conviction of what we hold to be true for ourselves.
The need to please others. This shows itself in so many ways. Whether we’re seeking validation through being everything to everyone in career or self-sacrificing for our kids or our partners, this way of being can be energy sucking and deeply inauthentic. We compromise ourselves in these moments and the people we’re striving to please end up getting less than if we were being real and 100% in the moment.
Here’s where we’ll leave off…
Authenticity is more of an uncovering than something you express or do.
It’s the knowing that we already have everything we need for what life brings. Period.
That is our essence.
Let’s live it.
P.S Come back next week for the first episode of The Lady Hustle!